


Cut, Cut, Cut!

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Boyband, Comedy, F/M, Filk, Gen, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Third Year, Humor, Inspired by a Movie, M/M, Missing Scene, Parody, Shipping, Singing, Slash, Song Lyrics, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2247591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When 2004's Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie was released, much of the fandom was upset about how the Shrieking Shack scene was cut down a lot and important plot elements were missing. This filk is a parody on what might have happened if that missing scene had actually been filmed, and Alfonso Cuaron decided to cut the whole scene in the middle of filming! Naturally it had to be filked to an annoying 90s tune (to sing at the movie theater) so it goes to the tune of "Bye Bye Bye" by NSYNC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cut, Cut, Cut!

**Author's Note:**

> "Cut Cut Cut" to the tune of NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye"
> 
> Apologies to Alfonso Cuaron for joking that he only keeps scenes that have subtext in them. And apologies to Alfonso, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, David Thewlis, and Gary Oldman for making them sing an NSYNC song.

_SCENE: The part of the Shrieking Shack scene where Lupin and Sirius explain the Marauders is being filmed. And then, Alfonso decides that he doesn't like it..._  
  
 **Alfonso**  
No no  
Cut cut cut!  
Cut cut!  
Cut cut!  
  
 **David**  
Why did you say to stop?  
I thought this scene was right on top  
And nothing like a flop  
Alfonso what's wrong?  
  
 **Gary**  
Our background story's good  
 _(gesters at Daniel, Rupert and Emma)_  And they're doin' what they should  
But it's not understood:  
What did we do wrong?  
  
 **Alfonso**  
It's nothing that you guys have done  
Just so you know  
It's just that this scene has to go  
So I cut cut cut!  
  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  
What, what?  
  
 **Alfonso**  
This bit's boring and there's no subtext  
Makes me want to fast forward to what comes next  
I direct this  
So there ain't no 'but's  
'Cause I cut cut cut!  
Cut cut!  
No Siri/Lupin or Hermy/Ron  
Without any shipping a scene can't go on  
I direct this  
So there ain't no 'but's  
'Cause I cut cut cut!  
  
 **Daniel**  
Wait, you can't cut this scene  
That would be very wrong and mean  
Those who have not read the book  
Will be so lost  
  
 **Rupert**  
They're got to understand  
The real truth of everything and  
 **Emma**  
They learn it there, so cut this  
At your cost  
  
 **Alfonso**  
I know that you might need this in  
But it's not right  
I got to throw this in the bin  
So I cut cut cut!  
  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  
What, what?  
  
 **Alfonso**  
This bit's boring and there's no subtext  
Makes me want to fast forward to what comes next  
I direct this  
So there ain't no 'but's  
'Cause I cut cut cut!  
Cut cut!  
No Siri/Lupin or Hermy/Ron  
Without any shipping a scene can't go on  
I direct this  
So there ain't no 'but's  
'Cause I cut cut cut!  
  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  
Talking about what they would do  
They're explaining the Marauders and just who was who  
 **Alfonso**  
Cut cut!  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  
The place where viewers get the plot  
They are getting information and it is a lot  
  
 **Daniel**  
How could they all be alright  
In the shack that night  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  
If you cut this scene right now?  
  
 **Alfonso**  
Cut cut cut!  
  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  
Think of the fans this has made  
They will feel betrayed  
They'll be scraming 'what?!'  
  
 **Alfonso**  (at the same time as the others)  
This bit's boring and there's no subtext  
Makes me want to fast forward to what comes next  
You know I direct this  
So they're ain't no 'but's  
'Cause I cut cut cut!  
No Siri/Lupin or Hermy/Ron  
Without any shipping a scene can't go on  
I direct this  
  
 **David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma**  (at the same time as Alfonso)  
How could they all be alright  
In the shack that night?  
Think of the fans this has made  
They will feel betrayed  
  
 **Alfonso**  
So there ain't no 'but's  
Cut cut cut!  
  
 **Camera Guy**  (spoken)  
Great, we got this on camera! Can we put it on the special features on the DVD?  
  
 _Alfonso, David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma all turn and glare at the camera guy_  
  
 **Camera Guy**  (spoken)  
Okay...guess not.


End file.
